Classified

This does not refer to the ‘news you can use’, rather this is my experience of travelling in a first class compartment of a local train in Mumbai. I am doing an internship in ICT (Institute of Chemical Technology), Mumbai. It is situated in Matunga and I am currenly staying at Vile Parle. So, I travel from Parle to Vadala. (It is a station, I am not asking someone to bring vada)

To cut the crap, its a 10 KM long route, which takes about 24 minutes. Now The first thing I noticed about a first class compartment ( referred to as FCC from hereon) is the pista green colour as compared to yellow in a second class compartment. This colour looks like puke shown in cartoons. So far, so good. While ordinary seats are made of wood or plastic, their FCC counterparts are made up of cushion which absorbs all the sweat in your ass and breeds bed bugs. No wonder so many prefer to stand.   Now there is just one more thing about the seats. The seats are made to sit 3, but in SCC four people ‘adjust’ comfortably on it, but in our FCC only three sit, and by some unspoken pact, no fourth person asks for ’side’.

Buying a FC pass often gives people feeling of owning the platform, train, people, almost everything, essentially they are all men/women with BIG egos, which often gets in my way and irks me.  Now these people are complete retards with fat pay cheques, who dont know physics. Once, I bumped into a guy when train screeched to a halt, “Sidhe khade Raho.” was the immediate reply. “Mujhe aapse chipakne main koi interest nahi hai, jab brake lagta hai toh inertia ki vajah se age shift hote hai”. You know, I just had to shut him up. There is a silent battle to grab the position near the entrance of the compartment. They also stand at the door one station before their destination poised to jump;  And if I stand in their way with my bag, they will do anything to irradicate me. I have had numerous arguements with ‘uncles’ trying to pull my bag out of the way, most of which ended up in a way not worth mentioning. In Rome, be Roman they say, and this is where I have applied it.

But this ‘No touch policy’ which Mc’Donalds and FCC implement also means that most likely you won’t be hugging a guy dripping with sweat and stinking ,in rush hour. They also have a knack of identifying someone who does not belong to FC. Even if he wears good clothes, even if he is fair, no matter what. If such a person enters, he is immediately reminded, “First class hai bhai, first class.”, poor fellow almost always gets down at the next station. So maybe thats why me and all other patrons tolerate each other because the system atleast guarantees you a relatively decongested travelling experience, where you can atleast feel (or see) the fan above you, where you can breathe or where you can simply show your importance.