Stereotypes

It was my first week at IIT, I was new, full of innocence (relative) and enthusiasm. I had been born and brought up like any other guy, having a very rigid frame of mind towards all social, financial, political issues. Seldom had I come across someone who thought otherwise and If I met, me and my friends would treat him/her like an outcast and ridicule, pain him to the edge of insanity.

Catching a whiff of the fact that my parents have left for home, seniors immediately started calling me for ‘ragging’. It was at this point of time that my world of beliefs turned upside down, perhaps for good. Highlights of some:

1)

Senior 1: “So do you have a girl friend?”

Now, knowing that these guys are perennially deprived of girls and were outright rejected by most, I said,

“No, I just like a girl, its like a crush.”

Senior 1: “So what do you like in her?”

I silently waited for a better (more answerable) question to come by, but our hero Senior 2 interrupted.

Senior 2: “Why do you like girls ONLY da?”

I had a sudden urge to go back in time and answer the previous question instead.

Me: “Well, because one day I will marry a girl only.”

Senior 1: “Why will you do that?”

Me: “I am supposed to. Everyone else does.” Gathering courage I added, “Won’t you?”

Senior 1,2, all in chorus: “DONT BACK ANSWER. Will you do something just becuase everyone does?”

Me: “Dunno.”

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Another similar one, which took place towards the end of my first year.

2)

Senior X: “Do you think gay marriages should be legalised?”

Me: “No.”

Senior X: “Why?”

Me: “I stay in guys’ hostel, I don’t want to live in a constant fear of some guy coming and raping me or sniffing my undies.”

Senior X: “What da? Why will a gay generally come and do something to you da?”. After a pause he added, ” Gays can be normal da…”

True. it had never struck me though. This conversation left me wondering.  I pondered on my perception of the world. Why was it that everything had be in a predefined way? Perhaps it were parents. But no, I shudder to even think of a moment when I am discussing these things with them. So who was it? Perhaps it was the TV, or the uncle and aunty walking together on street, or movies making fun of eunuchs, gays and queens, or maybe it was the presence of all together. And so it had begun, it had sown into me the seeds of inquisivity against Stereotype. (Please note that it did not force me to change my sexuality and I am very much straight.)

The consequences of “stereotypical” behavior go way beyond gender preferences. Anything out of place is deemed funny or lowly. When a girl tells her parents that she wants to become a pilot, her parents aren’t willing. Maybe they think that it isn’t respectable for a girl.  When a boy returns after studying abroad, he is treated as a hero. But when a girl studies abroad, people may doubt her character. If someone gets more marks than me, I would rather call him ‘ MAGGU” than to accept my inferiority but if someone gets lesser marks, I would call him a dumbass.  If a guy gets into IIT, he has to be nothing less than newton himself. And to me and my friends, nothing seems funnier than a guys girlfriend being taller than him!

We need to overlook these prejudices. We should respect people for who they are and respect their choices. We should encourage creativity so long as it does not become destructive. Most importantly our opinions and decisions should not be biased towards the conventional wisdom.  For what is the use of the freedom of expression unless you can really be what you want?