The Bunking Instinct

The 75% attendance rule has two sides. First is having to attend 75% of the working days, second, on the other hand is that, you can carefully plan and execute 25% of the bunks. Bunking is always a risk, as you may miss out on something important. But I have had a few lucky escapes; as when I do not attend, either there is no attendance, or sir does not teach etc. Two luckiest of the escapes are 26th July 2005 and 4th July 2009. AD. On both of these occasions it rained heavily.

4th July-

So, when I got up in the morning, I was just having that gut feeling of not going of not going to work ( it comes to me every other day too, but it was different that day) as I had come home very late at night and it was raining in the morning. As my sister woke me up , I just knew what to do. I crashed again. ( After getting up, I decided to work at home, but as with all other ‘plans’, it went awry.)

When  I went to market in the evening and realized at once, that I had been right, rather my wish had been granted.

I walk a lonely road

The roads were flooded, with the purest of sewage water. Everywhere these was ankle deep water at least, in which all the debris of  old rotten vegetables, dead rats, dog feces were floating with spilled petrol from cars, human spit dissolved in water. Quite a sight. Yet everyone including us were hell bent on not wasting anytime and traveling through this. Me and my sister were actually enjoying ourselves.   In one of the buildings, we also saw the sewage pipe overflowing and all the beautiful brown water mixing with rain water in which some children were blissfully playing down the line; splashing the water on each other, jumping in it ( its hard to deny the possibility of it going in mouth)

One thing I admired from this though was, unlike me, rest of the Mumbai was unphased. As we trampled ( or rather swam through) the streets, all the shops were open, even the roadside vendors were standing in rain and selling their merchandise. Because for them unlike for some of us, there is no 75% and no 25%. There is just the end of the day, week, month. If they don’t make enough money by the end of the day, they will sleep hungry. Dry or wet. One of my friend, Nirlipt Mahapatra, had come to Mumbai for internship from Cuttak, Orrisa. He used to work with me. He left on that day in a train to his place. He sent me a message after catching his train. So here is an outsider’s view on Mumbai’s rains:

“Hi Adhok, Mumbai ka rain ka pura experience ho gaya… 8.30 ka train tha… 7 baje nikle ICT (place where we work)  se.. No taxi was ready 2 go 2 LTT (place where he was to catch the train). Wadala rd was flooded with knee deep water… Swaraj (his room mate in hostel) ko le ke Matunga aaya.. Jaise taise Kurla pahucha… Severe rain main waist deep paani main station pahuncha… Swaraj aur main staion train chod ne se ek min pehle pahunche… Aree kurla se LTT tak 200 metre ke liye 200 RS diya… Phir auto band ho gaya… Swaraj wapas patri mein chal ke gaya… 10.30 baje pahuncha hostel mein… Mast exp tha na … Gn”

Cheers to his spirit and Mumbai!

Classified

This does not refer to the ‘news you can use’, rather this is my experience of travelling in a first class compartment of a local train in Mumbai. I am doing an internship in ICT (Institute of Chemical Technology), Mumbai. It is situated in Matunga and I am currenly staying at Vile Parle. So, I travel from Parle to Vadala. (It is a station, I am not asking someone to bring vada)

To cut the crap, its a 10 KM long route, which takes about 24 minutes. Now The first thing I noticed about a first class compartment ( referred to as FCC from hereon) is the pista green colour as compared to yellow in a second class compartment. This colour looks like puke shown in cartoons. So far, so good. While ordinary seats are made of wood or plastic, their FCC counterparts are made up of cushion which absorbs all the sweat in your ass and breeds bed bugs. No wonder so many prefer to stand.   Now there is just one more thing about the seats. The seats are made to sit 3, but in SCC four people ‘adjust’ comfortably on it, but in our FCC only three sit, and by some unspoken pact, no fourth person asks for ’side’.

Buying a FC pass often gives people feeling of owning the platform, train, people, almost everything, essentially they are all men/women with BIG egos, which often gets in my way and irks me.  Now these people are complete retards with fat pay cheques, who dont know physics. Once, I bumped into a guy when train screeched to a halt, “Sidhe khade Raho.” was the immediate reply. “Mujhe aapse chipakne main koi interest nahi hai, jab brake lagta hai toh inertia ki vajah se age shift hote hai”. You know, I just had to shut him up. There is a silent battle to grab the position near the entrance of the compartment. They also stand at the door one station before their destination poised to jump;  And if I stand in their way with my bag, they will do anything to irradicate me. I have had numerous arguements with ‘uncles’ trying to pull my bag out of the way, most of which ended up in a way not worth mentioning. In Rome, be Roman they say, and this is where I have applied it.

But this ‘No touch policy’ which Mc’Donalds and FCC implement also means that most likely you won’t be hugging a guy dripping with sweat and stinking ,in rush hour. They also have a knack of identifying someone who does not belong to FC. Even if he wears good clothes, even if he is fair, no matter what. If such a person enters, he is immediately reminded, “First class hai bhai, first class.”, poor fellow almost always gets down at the next station. So maybe thats why me and all other patrons tolerate each other because the system atleast guarantees you a relatively decongested travelling experience, where you can atleast feel (or see) the fan above you, where you can breathe or where you can simply show your importance.

Awkarts

NOTE:

1) Carrie Bradshaw gets inspiration by sipping coffee, my sister got it from Mumbai blasts, and I seem to get it from following the herd.

2) This article contains spoilers and incited information about J. K. Rowling’s all time favourite novel Harry Potter.

Hogwarts vs. IITs.

If you have happened to read Harry Potter and also know about IIT (which is quite rare), you can’t help but marvel at the similarities between the two institutes.

1)

Hogwarts: They have four houses; each house has its own characteristics.

IIT M: We have 17 hostels; alive with a rampant hostel spirit, having a distinct coloured sports jersey.

2)

Hogwarts: Inter house Quiddich cup.

IIT M: Schroeter. (Inter hostel sports tournament). My hostel, Jamuna, (called the Lion’s Den, compare it to Gryffindor) used to win it once upon a time and is now won by Ganga (Slytherin).

3)

Hogwarts: Each hostel had a head of house, who was a faculty member.

IIT M: We have a warden, who is a faculty member.

4)

Hogwarts: Each house has a common room for relaxation.

IIT M: Each hostel has a common room having TV, TT table, Fuzz ball etc. for relaxing.

5)

Hogwarts: Exam scores were graded as O,E,A etc.

IIT M: S,A,B,C,D,E;

U (Unsatisfactory); W (Want of attendance).

6)

Hogwarts: Founders had found girls trustworthy enough to enter boys’ dormitories, not vice versa.

IIT M: Old fatsos still think like that and we can not enter girl’s hostel.

7)

Hogwarts: Tri-wizard tournament.

IIT M: Inter-IIT sports meet.

8 )

Hogwarts: Many people were of the opinion that Headmaster (Dumbledore) was crackpot.

IIT M: EVERYONE has that opinion. Especially after Net cut.

9)

Hogwarts: Highly criticized by news papers for its shady administration.

IIT M: Every week I read at least 3 articles cursing IIT/JEE/students/IIT/faculty/IIT etc.

10)

Hogwarts: School governors like Mr. Malfoy were hell bent on destroying the school.

IIT M: Mr. Arjun Singh is right on the same track.

Well, trust me this is just the tip of the ice berg. More I will stay here, more I will observe. But if you want to make your additions, feel free to tell me. And yeah when I find the Harry Potter of IIT, I will tell you.

Stereotypes

It was my first week at IIT, I was new, full of innocence (relative) and enthusiasm. I had been born and brought up like any other guy, having a very rigid frame of mind towards all social, financial, political issues. Seldom had I come across someone who thought otherwise and If I met, me and my friends would treat him/her like an outcast and ridicule, pain him to the edge of insanity.

Catching a whiff of the fact that my parents have left for home, seniors immediately started calling me for ‘ragging’. It was at this point of time that my world of beliefs turned upside down, perhaps for good. Highlights of some:

1)

Senior 1: “So do you have a girl friend?”

Now, knowing that these guys are perennially deprived of girls and were outright rejected by most, I said,

“No, I just like a girl, its like a crush.”

Senior 1: “So what do you like in her?”

I silently waited for a better (more answerable) question to come by, but our hero Senior 2 interrupted.

Senior 2: “Why do you like girls ONLY da?”

I had a sudden urge to go back in time and answer the previous question instead.

Me: “Well, because one day I will marry a girl only.”

Senior 1: “Why will you do that?”

Me: “I am supposed to. Everyone else does.” Gathering courage I added, “Won’t you?”

Senior 1,2, all in chorus: “DONT BACK ANSWER. Will you do something just becuase everyone does?”

Me: “Dunno.”

————————————————————————————-

Another similar one, which took place towards the end of my first year.

2)

Senior X: “Do you think gay marriages should be legalised?”

Me: “No.”

Senior X: “Why?”

Me: “I stay in guys’ hostel, I don’t want to live in a constant fear of some guy coming and raping me or sniffing my undies.”

Senior X: “What da? Why will a gay generally come and do something to you da?”. After a pause he added, ” Gays can be normal da…”

True. it had never struck me though. This conversation left me wondering.  I pondered on my perception of the world. Why was it that everything had be in a predefined way? Perhaps it were parents. But no, I shudder to even think of a moment when I am discussing these things with them. So who was it? Perhaps it was the TV, or the uncle and aunty walking together on street, or movies making fun of eunuchs, gays and queens, or maybe it was the presence of all together. And so it had begun, it had sown into me the seeds of inquisivity against Stereotype. (Please note that it did not force me to change my sexuality and I am very much straight.)

The consequences of “stereotypical” behavior go way beyond gender preferences. Anything out of place is deemed funny or lowly. When a girl tells her parents that she wants to become a pilot, her parents aren’t willing. Maybe they think that it isn’t respectable for a girl.  When a boy returns after studying abroad, he is treated as a hero. But when a girl studies abroad, people may doubt her character. If someone gets more marks than me, I would rather call him ‘ MAGGU” than to accept my inferiority but if someone gets lesser marks, I would call him a dumbass.  If a guy gets into IIT, he has to be nothing less than newton himself. And to me and my friends, nothing seems funnier than a guys girlfriend being taller than him!

We need to overlook these prejudices. We should respect people for who they are and respect their choices. We should encourage creativity so long as it does not become destructive. Most importantly our opinions and decisions should not be biased towards the conventional wisdom.  For what is the use of the freedom of expression unless you can really be what you want?

Last IV years of life

Note : “This is a work of fiction (not mine), all characters, their intentions and personalities are poorly imitated and portrayed. It contains laxative thoughts and should not be read by anyone.”

“If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have four years of life left.” I came to know of this when I saw a movie called ‘The Happening’ (don’t watch it coz trust me there is nothing ‘Happening’ in that movie). And after a few days, I found out (which kind of freaked me out) that indeed bees had been vanishing from the United States! Such times bring best out of some people and worst out of the others.

So I rushed to people to get their reactions on the topic, here is what I found out.

At the national level -
Beurocrats  :  ” Give free electricity to all farmers “
Farmers :  “Damn it, just make SUICIDE legal.”
Sonya    :   ” Ill be the next PM.”
HRD min. : “All colleges to be named as IITs.”
“Special 5% reservation for open category.”

In the insti -
Students               : “We want Net for 24 hrs”
Din                        :  “Cut net for whole day, let them study for last 4 years.”
Diro (Impressed) :  “Din’s tenure extended for 4 more years.”

In my hostel -
Dum Dum (A guy paranoid about AIDS) : “Kill all HIV + people.”
HIV+ ppl : “Infect everyone with HIV for equality, coz as such everyone will die.”

Diqbal (no offence to him) : ” All should convert to Islam-ism.”

Samadhi ( a self proclaimed gay) : “I want to sniff all remaining guys’ undies!”
JOJO ( while listening to Mozart) : “42″
Anniyan : “The end of the world will be caused by a VORTEX.”
PS :
1) Abiraam (psycho) couldn’t be contacted coz he had already committed suicide.
2) I started writing at night, so I couldn’t see Bhanu

3) Bajji had shifted his room to library.
4) HB couldn’t be contacted as he was already scribbling in his blog

Chemistry and life, love etc.

Chemistry is an integrated part of JEE preparation (if you want to clear ie) or any other syllabus for that matter. So while preparing for this dreaded subject, I used to find many ways to remember it easily. Later as I found out, it bears a striking resemblance with real life!
Here is what I observed :

What it is in Organic chemistry	What it means in real life
1) Opposites attract; likes repel	Well, this made sense to me until I found about gayism. But later even gayism made sense when I read about ‘short range’ nuclear forces. J
2) Force of attraction is inversely proportional to distance squared	The closer you are to a person (mentally or physically), more you like him/her (or both). One way of looking at it is, you would not have been close unless you liked the person. So be it. For me its one more formula learnt.
3) Polar bonds are unstable in a Protic solvent and may dissociate.	A strained (polar) relationship is easily broken by an external factor, like Extra marital affair (solvent molecule!)
4) Intra molecular reactions faster than intermolecular ones.	The nearer a person stays to you, more are the chances of your fling.
5) Neighbouring Group Participation	Just an extreme case of No. 4.
6) Free radicals are highly reactive species	Well, obviously you must have met people putting N fight to pair up.

Hello world!

Hey, this is not my first C or JAVA^TM program, (:P) but I guess it has become a custom to start everything by saying HELLO WORLD !

Anyway, I am Bellurkar Adhokshaj R (As written on my school certificate) or Adhokshaj Bellurkar (Name followed by surname format) or HB (As called by “dear” seniors in the institute). This doesen’t imply that I am schizophrenic. Am an undergraduate student of Mechanical Engineering at IIT Madras.
Joblessness of friday night prompted me to write my blog… or maybe some interstellar formation, where the angles made by all the stars is causing such a gravity that I am forced to to this… Sounds crap right? Even to me. I don’t believe in Astrology or Astronomy or whatever you call it. Hang on, its Astrology. I googled it. (Its not that there is no backspace key on my keyborad; its just that I believe in thinking before acting and not vice versa.) Thats life…
Now, enough putting pseud for a day. One last thing, “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have four years of life left”